Season Insecurity

Well, low and behold, I caught the spring bug going around and have been pretty miserable for about a  week or so.  I’m feeling better though.  Soup, sleep and sweet morning back-rubs from the hubs has made the virus start to call it quits! Good!  Aside from feeling physically blah, my emotions have taken a dive too;  must be one of those seasons.   I’ve been extremely happy with how life is going and how blessed I’ve been but I’m nervous that this happiness is going to come to a swift stop; only lasting a season.  My insecurity has seemed to spread like a virus too!  Jared has had a few of those emotion-diving days… not the same concerns but nonetheless, they were there.  I’ve talked to God a little here and there about it but I know or have come to know that the more you get closer to God the more the devil tries to upset the balance.  I feel that talking to God will make the happy season stop.

Alright…I know God is all powerful and can do anything to change anything but the answer to my problem seems way too easy here.  I know, God.  I hear you.  Bible time!  Let’s start taking advantage of this virus and the time off!

Okay! Ecclesiastes, chapter 9.   Verse 11 to 12 reads, “I (Solomon) have observed something else in this world of ours.  The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle.  The wise are often poor, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy, And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives.  It is all decided by chance, by being at the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come.  Like fish in a net or bids in a snare, people are often caught by sudden tragedy.”   The footnote reads “Some people see such examples and call life unfair, and they are right.  The world is finite, and sin has twisted life, making it what God did not intend.”  This says to me that regardless of how I see my relationship with God, bad things can happen either way!  This doesn’t seem happy but distancing myself from God is not beneficial.  Creating this barrier caused strife and insecurities.  I can’t predict what will happen but I can do my best to let God help me with whatever I may need.  And it seems I needed this knowledge.  I feel better already! 

Ecclesiates, Chapter 9 had another great gem in verse 9!  I LOVE marriage verses!!

Verse 9 reads, “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you in this world.  The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.”   

Not only did God give me some wisdom to help with my insecurities but he let me know that I’m a “reward”!!  I’m a prize!  

Wisdom AND a compliment!  Thank you, Lord!

Happy Sappy

I’ve always been a little intimidated by death; it’s inevitable, I don’t like to cry and I’ve never known what to do when others grieve.  There have been several very important parts of my life that have left this world; my two very best friends, Justin, who died in 2006 and my puppy dog of 18 years, Sugar, who died in 2010.  I really don’t know how I would’ve been able to get through grieving if I had to cry all alone.  Jared was there through all of it.  He held my hand through Justin’s funeral and hugged me in silence for hours while I cried in disbelief of my puppy dog dying.  He was just there.  Silent.  Taking on whatever sadness I had as his own.  I love him for that.  I know God brought Jared into my life to not only love me back for the rest of my life, but to help me through these tough times.  Knee deep in the grieving process, I couldn’t see the benefits of companionship but I was able to get through it.  Jared was there to take on that grief with me.  But what am I to do when that role falls on me as a wife? 

Saturday, I attended my sister’s father-in-law’s funeral.  His name was Nick.  Although it was sad, it was also very sweet and simple just like Nick.  My sister didn’t say anything but she was there, front row, grieving with her husband.

 I love how I can take after that example. 

 Just be there.  

 Silent.  

Taking on whatever you can. 

I love how this reminds me of how God works.  

He’s just there.  

Silent.  

Taking on whatever he can.  Really whatever we are willing to give him. 

I know that was what my sister was doing.  Without even knowing, she was following after God’s example to help her husband grieve over the loss of his father.   And Jared …without even knowing, was being groomed by God to be a great husband for me.    

I know death is inevitable.  I really don’t like to cry (I always get those pesky migraines behind the eyes) and I’ve never been to sure how to help others cope.  BUT I’m glad God is evident in the experiences I’ve had and the people I see. 

SO!  

Just be there.

Silent.

Taking on whatever you can…. With Love.

Nick on the bottom left with my sister and family

Justin with me at my high school graduation

My precious little pretty girl, Sugar

Essential Potential

One of the most essential parts of marriage is GOD! He provides everything, takes away stresses and loves unconditionally! So long as you allow him to do so by loving Him back!  So… how do I show God that I love him back?  Well, how do I show my husband, Jared, that I love him?  I talk to him constantly throughout the day and tell him “I love you” all the time.  Pretty simple!  So again… How do I show God that I love Him?  I know God is not my husband but God handles the same things my husband does and SO much more.  Before my husband, there was God, loving me, providing for me, and taking away my stresses day after day.  I need to let God know that I love him because He has, will and will always be there for me.  SO! I need to talk to him! Easy enough! 

I’ve been having trouble in this area though.  Lately, I’ve felt as though I just don’t have time…. New marriage, new job, new responsibilities… I feel my brain is just way too filled up to relax and think about what to say to the Big man upstairs.  I’ve been working on it.  Saying little things here and there but I’ve still felt disconnected.  

I’ve told my husband about this and he’s been a huge inspiration.  He understands and is excited about being #2 to God!  What a blessing! Every morning he gets up, makes me breakfast and a lunch for work, irons my clothes, showers and then… sits down and talks to God for about 15 minutes.  I don’t know how he does it! All I do is shower, eat breakfast and get ready and I’m always rushing out the door!  So what’s his secret?! …. Yes, I know he’s man, plain and simple, BUT he stops and actively makes time for God!  Wow! …  Okay! This relationship with God is starting to sound a little easier to handle…

Stop!

And Talk to God!

…. Okay I just stopped mid-blog and talked to God!  I feel better already!  One thing came to mind though….Since God is essential for marriage, my husband should be involved, right? RIGHT!  What can I do to bring my husband in on the action?  I know!!  Not too long ago, Jared introduced what we call “prayer squares” into our marriage.  We have a little pad of paper (that’s shaped into a square) that we use to list all the people, problems, and praises that we want to talk to God about.  Every single one! If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve been on at least one of them!  We would pray for each item on that list.  No matter how long it took, we prayed for every single item holding hands with our eyes closed occasionally peeking at the next item on the list.  I remember feeling so connected to God and also so connected to Jared!  

Excellent!  I think I’m on a role here!

Stop!

And Talk to God!

With Jared!!!

I'm so excited!  I’ll let you know how it goes!

First things first!

Allow me to introduce myself…  I’m Veronica and I love LOVE! 

I’m starting this blog in hopes of expressing my love.  I’m not sure what to expect or what I will say but I can guarantee that it will be happy.  I’ve been married for about 8 months now and I love being married.  There is nothing better than knowing that the man that God has chosen for me will NOW be with me forever.  I know I’m still a newlywed and living it up honeymoon style but the essential basis for marriage is Love; Love for God, Love for your husband and Love for your marriage!  Making sure those three loves have a priority in your day-to-day must hold some key to a happy marriage!  So! Let’s begin!

A little back story… Over 6 years ago, I met a young man that made me laugh constantly.  He loved God, his family and his guitar.  He was certainly intriguing.  As we became friends to good friend to best friends, I fell madly in love.  We became official that Valentine’s Day and then we had a fairy tale wedding by a lake 5 years later and our happily ever after so far has been grand! 

I'm hoping I'm off to a good start!