Life... [Insert Cliche]

Life… I can’t help but want to say something cliché.  What a whirlwind of a year.  Unexpected hits, curveballs, you name it! The hubbs got a new job, all of our extended family will be states away instead of blocks away, the cat has acquired hairballs for the first time in 7 years, I broke my ankle and survived, we just got a realtor AND I am now completely obsessed with Duck Dynasty.  As unexpected as life is for me from my point of view, I’ve noticed that life doesn’t bring events that others haven’t dealt with.  It’s great! I’ve bought every marriage book from the dollar bookstore I can find! Hopefully, I’ll be an expert soon.  What I knew nothing about though and couldn’t find a book on was a broken ankle and the emotional baggage that followed.  Lots of people break their ankle though according to Instagram but I have yet to see a book! CRAZY! Did you know that you CANNOT get a cast wet!? Yeah… shower time was a blast (sarcasm).  As an independent person, relying on others to take a shower (my husband… we’re married! Calm Down!), prepare a meal, get down the stairs… put my socks on (!!) was ROUGH!  I did not realize how much I took my foot for granted.  Relying on others was surprisingly a hit to my ego.  I thought my little ‘ol 5 foot self could handle everything thrown at me before that day!  Hearing the pop of my ankle as I fell was a shock.  I froze.  I could not take care of myself in that moment.  I learned a tough lesson…. God did not cause me to fall or cause this incident to happen to teach me something.  I was definitely tempted at times to be mad at God but ultimately, I chose to jump on that trampoline.  Yes, a trampoline… you surprisingly can jump really really high on those things….  Life was what happened to me.  And when life throws curveballs, that’s when the enemy puts thoughts in your head to take you out, tear you down, and make you doubt.  He almost had me in that moment… and several moments after that.  I learned though that I am NOT in charge.  God didn’t cause me to break my ankle but through breaking my ankle, I can learn.  I learned that I needed to rely on God to keep me sane.  I needed to rely on God in areas that were out of my control.   It was definitely an eye-opener.  I thrived on being able to control my situation.  And in this circumstance, I was unprepared.  I truly believe that God chose Jared to be my husband and I, also, believe that when people rely on God completely in areas of their life, God comes through.  In this crazy episode of my life, I saw God come through.  I learned that God knew I was going to choose to jump and prepared my life for it for me.  He came through by having Jared there in my life for the long haul.  God took care of me when I was unable to take care of myself by having Jared there to undertake the brunt of it and stick it out with me despite my many crocodile tears (Si reference).  I need to respect and love the man that God put in my life to adore, protect, and care for me because in essence, I will be respecting and loving my Heavenly Father who put him there.  

Ephesians 5: 22-29 reads “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” 

Pre-cast                              

 Post-cast

Dawson Drama

Dawson’s Creek!  “Certifiable” Says Joey!  I don’t remember high school like this at all!  But I love to watch and live in their make believe high school world.  However! All the drama going on in the main character’s parent’s lives seem like real problems that married couples deal with; adultery, death, stress.  Although movies portray failing marriages constantly and are ultimately make-believe in the movie world as is Dawson’s creeks crazy high school fiascos, I see adultery, stress and death around me all the time… 

Thank the Lord I have not dealt with these problems in my own marriage or at least not to an extent that will bring Jared and I apart but I have come to realize what we can possibly do to combat these problems if they start to rear their ugly heads. 

Well, I think the easy one is stress.  I think I have small bouts of stress that come and go very quickly.  I see the pile of dirty laundry and dirty dishes and shoes by the door and crud in the sink and boxes in closest and … and… and…  I blow up with stress with just a quick walk through of our adorable little apartment….  And what does Jared do before he leaves for work, “I don’t want you to clean anything today.  I’ll do everything when I get home.” Smile after smile.  Kiss after kiss.  You know what’s funny is that he’s said this before and he’s cleaned everything where it takes me all day to clean… it takes him an hour.  Of course there’s been those Friday’s that I clean everything and certain things I feel are mine to clean regardless (Kitty liter pan) but I think it’s okay to let my husband take the load if it will cause me to de-stress.  If I’m going to get stressed out, blow-up, have a bad attitude for one day because I’m overwhelmed with everything else and the house cleaning makes me crack… who, ultimately, gets the brunt of my darn crabby attitude?  Jared!  Not fair and not healthy!   What Jared has done is he’s given a little at his own expense.  I know he can get stressed and overwhelmed but he’s decided to put that aside for meee!!  Don’t worry ya’ll! I’ll give a little too a little later after I relax! You can’t blame me!  I’m already happier and excited to stay together with the man of my dreams; A man willing to clean everything for that one day so I can relax and be happy doing nothingness!  And I’ve been doing laundry all week and cooking dinner so he’s not doing eeeverything! I think what I’m trying to say is that one key to combat stress in marriage is to see what your spouse needs when they need it and act accordingly!  

Alright, losing a loved one or a spouse is pretty hard.  In Dawson’s creek, the main character, Joey, says that her mom was lost to cancer and her dad ran off.  Jared has once said “I’m dying before you and that’s that.”  I know death can happen at any time, anywhere so it’s hard to prepare.  I know with that statement that Jared made he is implying that he doesn’t want to live without me.  I don’t want to live without him either but we both know, however, that whenever we do die, we will see each other again in Heaven.  We both believe that Jesus died for our sins on the cross and we will live an everlasting life.  When this life is over, we will not have to live without each other because we are both going to the same place.   Easy Peasy!

Okay… now to adultery.  In Dawson’s creek, Dawson’s mom is having an affair with her co-worker.  If you haven’t seen the show, don’t worry, you see this in the second episode so I’m not ruining anything! Anyway! This is a tough one.  I’m so in love with Jared that I couldn’t see myself straying.  Hmm.. Okay, how bout this.  I’m a huge fan of Christian Slater.  …. Why, you ask?  Watch Bed of Roses.  Thank you very much!  Okay…  For my 24^th birthday, I asked Jared for a Christian Slater movie poster…  Bed of Roses to be exact (Surprise. Surprise.)!   Anyway!  Not only did Jared get me a Christian Slater movie poster, he made me a poster with small pictures of every movie poster that Christian Slater was associated with.  

Yes, men… take note!   This didn’t make me more excited about Christian Slater… It made me more excited about Jared.  Regardless of the man-reason for making this poster for me, he made it and made me realize how good I have it!  Lots of Love, Effort done effortlessly and a complete and utter LACK of jealousy!  **Swoon!  Adultery, cheating, emotional chemistry, whatever,… can make its way into a marriage pretty easily.  A lack of love, no effort or jealousy can make people look for others who will temporarily make them happy; a quick fix for an easily fixable problem.

Jared is a smart man.  He made me realize how lucky I am early on with a simple gesture.  And now Christian Slater is just a poster, those dishes will get washed today and Thanks to God for what I know and have in Him.  Good Job, Jared!     

Charming Complement

So!  I’ve been thinking about what to write about for a few weeks now… I start a concept and try to think about what I’ve learned and what I can use from issues or experiences to make my marriage flourish.  I, honestly, haven’t had too many issues… well at least none that sick in my brain to bring up again.   Hmm…what is sticking is that I know that I love God and God shows me He loves me through the sweet husband he’s picked for me.   And when I feel stressed, it surely helps that my husband is always willing to fix all my itty bitty day-to-day problems…… I’m stressed; I get a shoulder massage… problem fixed….  I feel ugly; I hear that I’m beautiful about 20 times before bed… problem fixed….

I think this is what God intends marriage to be!  Since woman and men are wired differently and handle problems in different ways, a man and woman in marriage complement each other.   And in my case, my husband is my knight and shining armor that rides in and saves the day by putting whatever problem I have on his shoulders…. And in turn, keeping me happy!

I see this quite often … Happy couples that complement each other!    

Take Sleeping Beauty ..… Classic!  

Need I say more?!  Prince and Princess! Match made in Disney Heaven!

 Those kisses seem to take away quite a few problems as well!

What about Beauty and the Beast!

Yeah… it took this prince an hour or so to show his true charming colors but you can’t deny all those smiling faces in that last scene of the movie!

And happiness still holds true for those couples that stick together after that first kiss and the wedding day!

Look at Mickey and Minnie! 

 …. Multi- BILLION Empire on this couple’s loyalty to each other!   A happy and loyal couple being successful?!?   Yeah… this isn’t just because they’re cute mice;  they exemplify happiness that people love to see!  And this makes marriage successful;  happiness…. DUH! 

Season Insecurity

Well, low and behold, I caught the spring bug going around and have been pretty miserable for about a  week or so.  I’m feeling better though.  Soup, sleep and sweet morning back-rubs from the hubs has made the virus start to call it quits! Good!  Aside from feeling physically blah, my emotions have taken a dive too;  must be one of those seasons.   I’ve been extremely happy with how life is going and how blessed I’ve been but I’m nervous that this happiness is going to come to a swift stop; only lasting a season.  My insecurity has seemed to spread like a virus too!  Jared has had a few of those emotion-diving days… not the same concerns but nonetheless, they were there.  I’ve talked to God a little here and there about it but I know or have come to know that the more you get closer to God the more the devil tries to upset the balance.  I feel that talking to God will make the happy season stop.

Alright…I know God is all powerful and can do anything to change anything but the answer to my problem seems way too easy here.  I know, God.  I hear you.  Bible time!  Let’s start taking advantage of this virus and the time off!

Okay! Ecclesiastes, chapter 9.   Verse 11 to 12 reads, “I (Solomon) have observed something else in this world of ours.  The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle.  The wise are often poor, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy, And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives.  It is all decided by chance, by being at the right place at the right time. People can never predict when hard times might come.  Like fish in a net or bids in a snare, people are often caught by sudden tragedy.”   The footnote reads “Some people see such examples and call life unfair, and they are right.  The world is finite, and sin has twisted life, making it what God did not intend.”  This says to me that regardless of how I see my relationship with God, bad things can happen either way!  This doesn’t seem happy but distancing myself from God is not beneficial.  Creating this barrier caused strife and insecurities.  I can’t predict what will happen but I can do my best to let God help me with whatever I may need.  And it seems I needed this knowledge.  I feel better already! 

Ecclesiates, Chapter 9 had another great gem in verse 9!  I LOVE marriage verses!!

Verse 9 reads, “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you in this world.  The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.”   

Not only did God give me some wisdom to help with my insecurities but he let me know that I’m a “reward”!!  I’m a prize!  

Wisdom AND a compliment!  Thank you, Lord!

Happy Sappy

I’ve always been a little intimidated by death; it’s inevitable, I don’t like to cry and I’ve never known what to do when others grieve.  There have been several very important parts of my life that have left this world; my two very best friends, Justin, who died in 2006 and my puppy dog of 18 years, Sugar, who died in 2010.  I really don’t know how I would’ve been able to get through grieving if I had to cry all alone.  Jared was there through all of it.  He held my hand through Justin’s funeral and hugged me in silence for hours while I cried in disbelief of my puppy dog dying.  He was just there.  Silent.  Taking on whatever sadness I had as his own.  I love him for that.  I know God brought Jared into my life to not only love me back for the rest of my life, but to help me through these tough times.  Knee deep in the grieving process, I couldn’t see the benefits of companionship but I was able to get through it.  Jared was there to take on that grief with me.  But what am I to do when that role falls on me as a wife? 

Saturday, I attended my sister’s father-in-law’s funeral.  His name was Nick.  Although it was sad, it was also very sweet and simple just like Nick.  My sister didn’t say anything but she was there, front row, grieving with her husband.

 I love how I can take after that example. 

 Just be there.  

 Silent.  

Taking on whatever you can. 

I love how this reminds me of how God works.  

He’s just there.  

Silent.  

Taking on whatever he can.  Really whatever we are willing to give him. 

I know that was what my sister was doing.  Without even knowing, she was following after God’s example to help her husband grieve over the loss of his father.   And Jared …without even knowing, was being groomed by God to be a great husband for me.    

I know death is inevitable.  I really don’t like to cry (I always get those pesky migraines behind the eyes) and I’ve never been to sure how to help others cope.  BUT I’m glad God is evident in the experiences I’ve had and the people I see. 

SO!  

Just be there.

Silent.

Taking on whatever you can…. With Love.

Nick on the bottom left with my sister and family

Justin with me at my high school graduation

My precious little pretty girl, Sugar

Essential Potential

One of the most essential parts of marriage is GOD! He provides everything, takes away stresses and loves unconditionally! So long as you allow him to do so by loving Him back!  So… how do I show God that I love him back?  Well, how do I show my husband, Jared, that I love him?  I talk to him constantly throughout the day and tell him “I love you” all the time.  Pretty simple!  So again… How do I show God that I love Him?  I know God is not my husband but God handles the same things my husband does and SO much more.  Before my husband, there was God, loving me, providing for me, and taking away my stresses day after day.  I need to let God know that I love him because He has, will and will always be there for me.  SO! I need to talk to him! Easy enough! 

I’ve been having trouble in this area though.  Lately, I’ve felt as though I just don’t have time…. New marriage, new job, new responsibilities… I feel my brain is just way too filled up to relax and think about what to say to the Big man upstairs.  I’ve been working on it.  Saying little things here and there but I’ve still felt disconnected.  

I’ve told my husband about this and he’s been a huge inspiration.  He understands and is excited about being #2 to God!  What a blessing! Every morning he gets up, makes me breakfast and a lunch for work, irons my clothes, showers and then… sits down and talks to God for about 15 minutes.  I don’t know how he does it! All I do is shower, eat breakfast and get ready and I’m always rushing out the door!  So what’s his secret?! …. Yes, I know he’s man, plain and simple, BUT he stops and actively makes time for God!  Wow! …  Okay! This relationship with God is starting to sound a little easier to handle…

Stop!

And Talk to God!

…. Okay I just stopped mid-blog and talked to God!  I feel better already!  One thing came to mind though….Since God is essential for marriage, my husband should be involved, right? RIGHT!  What can I do to bring my husband in on the action?  I know!!  Not too long ago, Jared introduced what we call “prayer squares” into our marriage.  We have a little pad of paper (that’s shaped into a square) that we use to list all the people, problems, and praises that we want to talk to God about.  Every single one! If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’ve been on at least one of them!  We would pray for each item on that list.  No matter how long it took, we prayed for every single item holding hands with our eyes closed occasionally peeking at the next item on the list.  I remember feeling so connected to God and also so connected to Jared!  

Excellent!  I think I’m on a role here!

Stop!

And Talk to God!

With Jared!!!

I'm so excited!  I’ll let you know how it goes!

First things first!

Allow me to introduce myself…  I’m Veronica and I love LOVE! 

I’m starting this blog in hopes of expressing my love.  I’m not sure what to expect or what I will say but I can guarantee that it will be happy.  I’ve been married for about 8 months now and I love being married.  There is nothing better than knowing that the man that God has chosen for me will NOW be with me forever.  I know I’m still a newlywed and living it up honeymoon style but the essential basis for marriage is Love; Love for God, Love for your husband and Love for your marriage!  Making sure those three loves have a priority in your day-to-day must hold some key to a happy marriage!  So! Let’s begin!

A little back story… Over 6 years ago, I met a young man that made me laugh constantly.  He loved God, his family and his guitar.  He was certainly intriguing.  As we became friends to good friend to best friends, I fell madly in love.  We became official that Valentine’s Day and then we had a fairy tale wedding by a lake 5 years later and our happily ever after so far has been grand! 

I'm hoping I'm off to a good start!